Jenni's Page

My husband passed away peacefully on December 14th at his nursing home, Cottonwoods, in Kelowna, BC.

He had been suffering from a rapidly advancing condition called Lewy Body Dementia. It is similar to Parkinson's but is a type of fast-acting dementia. He had been in hospital since June 12 this year, and was then transferred to Cottonwoods once a bed became available in September.

Even thougn I've virtually been grieving for six months, it was still a shock to get the call on Saturday.

I'm doing okay. I've been busy notifying people and arranging things with the funeral home. What I chose to do because of the time of year, is have Ed cremated and have them put his ashes in an urn. When I can fly there to pick them up, I'll consider some keepsakes, and I want to buy a park bench to put in one of his favourite places, with a plaque as a memorial to him. Then I'll arrange for a memorial service in the nicer weather, probably in May.

Some recent photos:

This was taken in July 2023 at one of his favourite beach spots.



This was in our local pub, about a year ago:



And this is both of us at his brother's birthday party in 2019 in Huntsville, Ontario:



Okay, one more. We are with our son Jamie and his then girlfriend, now wife, and their chihuahua mix, on a hiking trail in Whitby, Ontario, a few years ago, probably 2020.



It's hard to process that he's actually gone.

I'm out of excuses so I'm just going to jump in and get some things off my chest.

Today is starting off as frustrating as possible and it's only 10:30. First I had to reply to a letter from Canada Revenue Agency, which is our tax assessment agency. In the USA I believe the same thing is called the IRS. Anyway, the CRA wants to "review" our recent claim, I think on the basis that Sean turned 19 in November but he is still our dependent. The letter didn't state that and it's also made it clear that this is NOT an audit, but it asked for Sean's pertinent information. My response had to include a lot of personal details and be supported by 15 relevant attached documents, I kid you not. Typical government stuff.

This is fine. It has taken me about a week to put together but I've finally done it. They've given us 30 days to respond.

However, my Canon printer isn't working and I don't know why, so I can't scan my letter & documents and send them that way. I can also photocopy everything and send it via snail mail, so I decided to do that. I went to the local drug store which had a photocopier and has a post office, but they no longer have the photocopier, perhaps because of COVID.

My next best option is to visit the local library (within walking distance although a long walk) where I can print my letter and copy it and the documents, and there is a UPS store in the same plaza so I can send everything to CRA that way, by courier. That's probably my best option. I also have some papers that the UPS people can shred for me because our shredder is broken. So I'll kill two birds with one stone.

Alas, but I checked and the local library is closed today. I guess it'll be okay to wait until tomorrow but it's supposed to rain all day. I can call an UBER I suppose. There's always something! And it always costs me!

In sadder news, our pet cat Shorty passed away two nights ago. It was very sudden. It seemed like he suffered a heart attack. I don't know if it's related, but we had taken him to the animal hospital in early February because he was vomiting and they ran a series of tests. The test results were all negative, and the only thing they could find was a possible small ulcer so the final diagnosis was gastroenteritis, which is neither a pre-existing condition nor a chronic one. They sent him home with two meds for stomach issues and some cans of rabbit meat for dietary maintenance. Apparently rabbit is very digestible.

He did have some weight loss with it but we thought that was a good thing. I have no idea why he should have gone downhill so quickly which resulted in his passing. He was only 10 years old. Perhaps he had a heart condition that the vet didn't diagnose. He was negative for diabetes, cancer, kidney and liver problems, etc.

We have pet insurance so I submitted the bill for $2,400 to the company and they are currently processing it.

They took out my monthly premium already for May, so I have to let them know that he died so they can cancel his policy. I hope they'll still reimburse me for at least some of the $2,400 from February!

We buried him in the back garden where our other two cats are resting. We are all still in shock because he left us too soon. He was a real sweetheart too, so it's all very sad.

My husband's dementia is getting worse but he absolutely refuses to get checked out. He says there's nothing wrong with him but he's causing havoc on a daily basis. Another thing I need to do is see a lawyer for obtaining a Power of Attorney, if it's possible to do that without an official diagnosis. I'll make an appointment to see one anyway, so I can at least find out. It could become more difficult to do things in his name in future. I've already had to write his signature on a few things that needed signing because he didn't know what they were.

He can't be trusted with money either. If he wants something I have to pay for it. To my horror he told me he went to a driving range to hit some golf balls and when he had to pay, instead of using cash he gave the person behind the counter his debit card and his PIN number so she could process the payment for him. Luckily she was honest and didn't wipe out our savings.

It's rather surprising, but he is still physically fit and is able to drive, but sometimes can't remember where he's going. The driving range is just up the street and he's very familiar with the route so he won't get lost.

That's all for now. Just writing this has relieved some of my stress. I'll go prepare something for lunch now and not worry about doing any of the above-mentioned things until tomorrow.

I hope everyone is well and I will try to catch up with you.