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[personal profile] jenni_blog
I've never written about this, and I'll keep it short.

Last Thursday I got a bad scare when I learned that my co-worker of many years had been rushed to hospital with abdominal pains and was awaiting the result of a CT scan. We were on tenterhooks at work, all of us worried as hell. On Firday morning the results came in. They didn't look good. While not knowing exactly what they meant in terms of prognosis, I can tell you that they involved the pancreas, a possible aneurysm and some other stuff that may or may not be important. The past weekend was a long one for us, to celebrate Simcoe Day here in Ontario. We worked only half a day on Friday so I was not able to find out until yesterday when I went back to work how my colleague was feeling. She came in late in the day, and said she felt much better, although she still had some reduced abdo pain and was very tired. She's going to take next week off work. I went home before she could speak to the doctor about her result, and she clearly didn't know anything yet. Today is my day off, so I won't find out until tomorrow what the doctor told her. :(

This is bad enough, but my sister recently had a hip replacement that didn't go too well. She had been suffering from a genetic hip disorder that my mother had, my brother has also, but somehow I escaped. My sister's operation was in the middle of June. During the course of the surgery, while her 'old' hip was being removed, the surgeon managed to fracture the large bone in the same leg - the femur. As a result, she suffered trauma while she was under anesthetic, which resulted in her vomiting in the middle of the surgery but luckily didn't aspirate it, and her blood pressure went sky high. They had to stop the operation halfway through, wire her fractured femur together, try to stablize her blood pressure and some other things, and then continue to replace her hip.

Since then she's had a long recovery time, she cannot bear weight yet on that side of her body, and it's going to be awhile until she can walk again. She's not even an old woman, for crying out loud.

And to make a long story short, I've had very bad luck with friends. Six of my close girlfriends have passed away much too young. The first one was a schoolmate of mine who died in a sky diving accident while in university. She was only 19. The next one died of breast cancer at 25 years of age. After that, another was killed by a truck on her way to work, two had heart attacks and the final one passed away suddenly from an aneurysm.

Seriously, I am glad to be healthy and to have escaped any accident at all so far, but I do not want to lose my sister, my co-worker or any of the friends I have left. Or any of my online friends, who are all very important to me because I really don't have very secure feelings about making new friends in real life.

You know what it really means to be a survivor? It means that you lose everyone that you have loved and it means that you are left alone to carry on.

Date: 2012-08-08 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have no words to comfort you. I'm not good with it. I want to take you in my arms and give you all the love you deserves.

mucho love and more....

Date: 2012-08-08 08:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you. It's okay. I have a real fear of losing people. My sister was the second-last straw but my co-worker on top of that has dealt me quite a blow. I thought last week I was going to lose my mind and I had to stay offline for a bit.

Thanks for your good wishes.♥

Date: 2012-08-08 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh dear, that's really a lot of bad luck when it comes to people close to you in real life. I think, losing one friend is already hard but so many must be ... I don't know, I lack for words for it. :(

I hope, it will work fine for all of them but especially your sister. I don't know why but I think, this one is most important to me as I often think about not being able to live without my brother. It's completely different to all other relationships. :)

Feel hugged and you won't lose me nor get rid of me that easily here. ;-)

Date: 2012-08-08 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, I really had to get this off my chest. After my sister and then my co-worker recently having life and death issues, I thought I would go crazy. I told my sister and her husband I cannot lose her. I would be right out of my mind.

Thanks so much for being so sweet.♥


Date: 2012-08-08 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Honey, I'm so sorry. You know we're always here to listen/read and try to make you feel better. *hugs*

Date: 2012-08-10 12:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much. *hugs*

Date: 2012-08-08 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's just too much, isn't it? {{{Jenni}}}

Date: 2012-08-10 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, it's all too much. But I stay on the bright side, always. :)
Thanks & *hugs*♥

Date: 2012-08-09 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I've always found strength in this song:

Date: 2012-08-10 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I love U2 and that song is awesome. Thank you so much. It's a beautiful video too. :)

Date: 2012-08-16 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry you've gone through all that! :( *hugs*

I hope your sister and coworker will be fine soon; I'll keep them in my prayers.

Best wishes to you and to everyone!
*more hugs* ♥ ♥

Date: 2012-08-18 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much for your prayers and well-wishes. :)

Date: 2012-08-18 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm really, really sorry for all the loss you've had to deal with, Jenni. That would be absolutely horrific and life-altering.
I'm not sure anything I say can help, but we're all here for you, and you sound like you have a loving family who can help support you as well.
Apparently my brother has a slight tremor in one of his arms and just hearing that scared the hell out of me (even though his doctor isn't worried about it, and it's so slight my brother had never noticed it). I can't even imagine what you're going through with your sister. All the positive, healing thoughts out to her, and lots of hugs to you!

Date: 2012-08-18 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you. :) *hugs*
I do have great support from family and online friends, as well as other co-workers.

Oh, I hope your brother's thing is nothing serious. I have to tell you that NOTHING is worse than the feeling of worry when you find out something is wrong with someone in your family. :(((((


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