Jun. 16th, 2017

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I have not had a good time at all this past week. The worst thing was finding that quite a few sums of money were being withdrawn from my bank account that were not authorized by me! Horrified to see that my funds had dwindled to just over $100 from $800 I had in the account I use to put through Paypal transactions, and kicking myself for not being diligent enough in financial matters to notice that this had been happening since June 2nd, I had to spend last night checking everything, only to find out that all these withdrawals had originally been made by Sony Playstation!!! That meant only ONE person could be the culprit.

I hauled him into my room to look at my bank account balance and Paypal statement on my laptop screen. I do all of my banking online and use a debit card for everything that isn't Amazon, for which I use a credit card. I had a good talk with him about what he'd done. I was devastated and he knew it. But I would never yell at him or use abusive language or anything...but he could see that I was upset and he turned meek and promised that he would never do it again.

Of course I've cancelled the Playstation account, as well as a couple of others like his Xbox that he doesn't play with anymore, and a Star Wars game that requires a small monthly payment. If he didn't need his cell phone I would get rid of that too because it costs a substantial sum each month and I don't think he gets full use out of it. But he needs it so I and other family members can keep track of him.

And I felt horrible when he woke up at 5:30 this morning (early for him) and told me he had wet the bed. Luckily there was a foam padding mattress cover on it that the pee hadn't soaked through. We hosed it down outside and right now it's drying on top of the spa. He was clearly upset by the accident - it has never happened to him since he was going through toilet training at least 12 years ago. I'm sure this happened because he was upset over the money issue as well as some school problems.

Things have not been going well with him at school at the moment and it's right in the middle of exams! He hates his Special Ed class, hates the teacher and the kids in that class. He hates being segregated from the other kids, his friends among them. Today there was a track and field meet for the Special Ed kids and he didn't want to go. Because of what happened to him this morning and because I am a big, stupid softie, I let him go to school later, at 11:00 a.m. because he loves basketball and they were going to play a game in the regular Gym class that he wanted to attend.

Not only has all the above been bothering me (and there's more besides - we have an ant infestation in the house) to the extent I cannot even think about writing my SWG story, but I am having issues with my husband Ed as well. Ever since his cerebral hemorrhages last January, he has had problems with his cognitive functioning. (I know we are lucky - it could have been much, much worse an outcome.) Yesterday we met with my sister and her husband for lunch and a few days beforehand Eddie asked me "When are we going for lunch with your sister again?" I said Thursday and he replied, "It's supposed to rain and thunderstorm." I asked him if he wanted me to call and postpone it but he said no, he didn't mind driving in the rain. The next day he asked me again. The same question. I repeated "Thursday at noon" and he said "It's supposed to rain, etc." So I had to ask him again if he wanted me to postpone because his answer this time might have been "Yes, we'd better postpone." (!!!)

That's just an example of what he's like now. I find I have to repeat things several times or even many times. He has trouble finding the right word to use sometimes too, or he simply uses the wrong word entirely so what he says doesn't make sense. I know it's difficult for him and I am not complaining but I feel bad for him and I am becoming very stressed over everything! With both him and Sean too! And Jamie! And Olivia whom I had not heard from in ages but just got an email from last night. And I am supposed to be going on a short trip next month but now some of my savings have been depleted!

Honestly, I feel like my life has been turned upside down. Please forgive me if I am not around that much until I can get things sorted out. I think I need to speak with people who can help both of my men. I'll see if the doc I used to work for can recommend a couple of therapists or specialists. I'm sure he can.

And I hate so much to complain about things but I thought I'd better explain. Let me tell you - getting old SUCKS. Big time.

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